Me vs the scale

As much fun as it was, this Lupron chic managed to bring all of my clothing items into the gym today.  I was late, again, but I was fully clothed.  This time I was late because I kept trying to get just a few more minutes of sleep.  I didn’t get to bed until after 11 last night and then I woke up sometime at night to find my daughter in my bed with me, my husband snoring away like normal, and Ash fussing in his room.  I didn’t have the heart to chase Jessie off to her room so I left her there as I went in to see what was wrong with Ash. 

I don’t think there was anything wrong – he just wanted some love I’m guessing.  I can’t really blame him as I truly enjoy my snuggle time with him as much as he does with me – it is just that he doesn’t understand the complexities of sleeping and wanting to work out and having to work and not getting to nap during the day.  I did the bedtime routine of reading and hugging and putting him back to bed and he was fine.  Then I had to climb back into my bed between Jessie and my husband.  I don’t know how long it was before I finally got to sleep again… eventually.  Then my alarm went off.

You know, I wasn’t feeling all that guilty.  I mean, my life has a lot going on and it is hard to keep this up every day all the time.  If I have a couple of days with a shorter cardio workout, hey, at least I AM getting a cardio workout, right?  I’m still doing the strength training part.  I was really more or less OK with it.  Until, that is, I went for my weight check.  165.  I’m not kidding.  I’ve officially managed to get a new high as of, oh, I don’t know, a long long time ago.  This week started out so GREAT too.  After the 162 I was thinking, well, this’ll be an easy down day.  NO – I got a 163.  Well, THIS is going to be a down day for sure.  Um, no.  I managed 165.  I don’t even know what to think when I see those numbers.  All I can fall back on is to know that I’m living the way that I intended to and eating the way that I intended to and all along I was saying that what my body did was what was right for it with my actions.  That’s all I can do because the alternative is scary.

The alternative is that my body WANTS to be overweight and as I keep upping my workouts and my efforts, it will keep upping what I NEED to do.  First it was upped such that what I needed to do was quite intense just to hold my weight steady.  Now, it seems, all that effort can just keep it from going up so fast.  I have already gone from a 20 minute cardio workout each day to 35 minutes or more plus 5 minutes stretching plus 15 minute weight training.  Do we recall that busy life comment?  Ya, listen, body, I can’t keep upping this forever.  Fat and healthy indeed.  If this continues I’m going to be the healthiest obese person EVER. 165.  Cripes. 

If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, I’ll probably be in the news for having attacked and ripped apart Lifetime’s locker room scale by hand.

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8 Responses

  1. I really know the feeling. You think you’re doing well and then whammo! weight gain 😦 Relax. I think it’s just some of those muscles you have growing stronger and more dense. Be the Strength Queen and don’t obsess about the scale – even though it’s really hard not to.

  2. What are the side effects of Lupron and Estrace? Any chance it’s weight gain? Because really, you didn’t started gaining weight (and it’s only a few pounds so far, right?) until you started the birth control pills and then the IVF drugs, right? I say blame it on the drugs and the artificial hormones. I know it’s easy to say don’t obsess about the scale but I’ve been stressing all week just because my weight has stayed the same – the exact same down to the tenth of a pound and that, well, that is just not possible, is it! 🙂

  3. Oh, dude. I’m with you. I’m SO with you. It is hard to focus on that “I know I’m doing things right” idea when the scale just laughs in your face. I’m just *so* with you.

    And yeah, Kristina(^) is right on with the idea of BCPs causing weight gain. I haven’t dropped a pound since I’ve started BCPs, despite doing what otherwise would work like magic. Maybe it’s the hormones.

    Or, maybe like I said yesterday, the scale is just a GIANT ASSHOLE.

  4. Hello… muscle weighs more than fat. If you’re doing strength training, you’re probably just building more muscle. So, it’s a good thing. How you look and feel is soooo much more important than the number you see on the scale.

    I’ve never been one to obsess about the numbers on the scale. That said, I’m sure I’ll be obsessed with it when trying to loose pregnancy weight… Yeah, I can be such a hypocrite…

  5. Hi! I was going to say what Jeanette said. You may be gaining MUSCLE! Are you feeling better? Are your clothes fitting any different?

    You might want to take your bust, hips, waist (etc.) measurements. I bet you’ll notice a change there soon, maybe even before you start losing weight.

    And GOOD FOR YOU for doing the workouts. I need to get back on that horse.

    I enjoyed my visit here. 🙂

  6. Thanks guys! It could be muscle, but… I’m really only trying to get my arms more defined so although I’d accept enough muscle gain to, say, stick around 160, I don’t think I’m gaining THAT much. Also, my measurements have stopped changing a long time ago. For the record, for peeps that are new, I’ve lost about 70 pounds and have been in maintance mode since about November of last year. I know, you wouldn’t know it to read me… crazy scale obsessed nut job still thinks she wants to lose. I would like to at least not gain though.

  7. I admire you for your work out ethic…I am 50 and I am having a hard time getting started. I get so frustrated but you have inspired me!

  8. OMG!!! I really really feel like such a slacker in that department! I haven’t exercised in ages!!! I am feeling very fat now *eating a donut as I write this*…You have inspired me indeed!!!!

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