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Today is the day… maybe

If I wasn’t convinced we were stuck with a moron for a fertility doctor before, his insistence that 3 day transfers have better odds than a 5 day transfer makes me want to look up were he actually got his degree from to see if it is real.  Turns out, they didn’t so much need to see my uterine lining to decide if a 3-day was the way to go vs a 5-day… he just needed to see my face.  He pronounce from that, that I have a great uterine lining right now and that the 3-day was better.  When I looked dubious (OK, when I told him he was full of it and started quoting statistics) he backed it up with his own (made up) stats.  What an unbelievable hack.  As topping, he added that because I’d given birth to 4 babies, I wouldn’t even feel them dilating my cervix to insert the embryos.  In a really lewd suggestive manor that made me want to deck him.  Is it too late to tattoo insulting comments on the inside of my thighs for when we do the actual transfer?

So with only a VERY VERY small window of hope, we will be transferring two 3-day embryos this morning at 10:30.  That small window amounts to ‘if the eggs look bad, we’ll let them grow out more and do a 5-day.’  Um, hack hack hack hack hack.  If they look BAD, they aren’t going to make it to a 5-day as well.  That’s WHY 5-days give better results.  Well, one of the reasons.  5-days will only keep the really great quality eggs to grow that long so you don’t transfer a potential bum.  (And by ‘bum’ I mean any children that are less likely to move out of the house upon turning 18 or hold any kind of real job.) 5-day also simulates when the egg would be leaving the fallopian tube and entering the uterus correctly.  5-day also ensures that the blast is ready to hatch and snuggle into that lining that by the looks of my face, is be-u-ti-full.  The doctor was quoting lower miscarriagerates.  Now, let’s suspend belief here for a moment and give him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn’t just pulling THAT little stat out of his ass.  IF (huge if) that is actually true, it is PROBABLY true because 5-days have WAY higher stats of what eggs stick and thus the number of eggs that statistically stuck and then m/c’d are higher than the number of eggs that m/c’d when the poor things never had a chance in the first place.  They have to hatch and implant before they can give a +pregnancy test and then m/c.  ARHG! 

Here’s the thing, P totally trusts Dr Hack and is buying it hook, line, and sinker.  As such, the transfer is most likely this morning.  My one solace is that if I have to do this again after a negative test, it won’t be here.  My regret is that since we are doing two embryos today, there is a decent enough chance that we will get ONE to stick and… no twins.  It is so weird how emotionally attached I am to the whole ‘twin’ concept but I’m so stuck on it.  As you will note, it is 5:30 and I am up blogging.  I will have to get through today repeating to myself that ending up with a baby and not twins is OK.  Maybe if I convince myself, I’ll stop being so upset about the whole 3-day transfer.  I know, I should be grateful for the whole thing to work at all.  I am, really.  I just feel like we are throwing out a golden opportunity here and we are doing it because some hack doctor is running the show and not being honest.

In the interest of not ruining today for the guys, I’m going to try hard to swallow this and not harp on it.  Overall, the bigger picture is that this is potentially the start of their baby’s pregnancy.  A big step in the long journey that they have taken to get a family. 

Changing subjects – yesterday we all got to go out and spend some great time together.  I had sooo much fun.  I even got to eat at a restaurant that had truffles (not the chocolate kind) on the menu!!  I, in fact, have left over truffle pizza in the hotel fridge right now.  How totally awesome is that???!!  I was so happy to spend the whole day just hanging out with and talking to the guys.  They got to come back to the hotel after the doc visit and witness me giving myself a shot.  Because I’m doing 4 times as much PIO now as I had back when I was just using it to end my cycle, I had two already sore side in my backside.  I figured I should use my thigh instead to let my backside heal.  The shot itself was fine and we all went out on the town for the next 12 hours.  Don’t – ever – do that.  Or if you do, make sure going “out on the town” means sitting around a lot while people bring you drinks.  Just consider this a friendly little warning.  Shoving 2 ccs of thick thick oil into your thigh muscle with a needle slightly shorter than your thumb just before spending the next 12 hours walking around is very very very dumb.  I THOUGHT that it would be great because then the oil would get really worked in and it wouldn’t hurt.  It didn’t hurt until we sat down for dinner later and then even later got up and had to walk.  Once we got back to the hotel I did my 2nd shot for the day and used my other thigh in the hopes that one day I can use the back side and the next day my thighs and each area will have a full 48 hours to heal before I have to use it again.  I finished my shot and sat with the hot pack for a bit and then slept.  I got up and was in minimal pain on that side.  My right side from the morning before, however, still feels like someone went after my thigh muscle with a cheese grater.  Now I get to do my morning shot.  The PIO shots I was doing before when we were just trying to bring on my cycle, folks, was cake.  Multiplying that by 4 is not so very pleasant but I will say, it is STILL better than having to use suppositories.

That’s it for today.  Please think sticky thoughts for the little embryos today.


One Response

  1. I agree with you on the 5-day transfer. But some clinics do have better results for 3-day transfers. Both are fairly standard, so it’s not like they’re doing something too crazy with that. I know you like the idea of twins, but most (reputable) fertility clinics have the goal of a singleton pregnancy, and see anything else as a failure on thier part.

    So, they have you doing 4cc of PIO? WHY? That seems crazy. And ouch! How long do they have you doing that much?

    Well, good luck, and I hope all goes well today!

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