My absence, the reason of

I haven’t been blogging lately.  I know.  I feel badly about it, however there are two very negative pregnancy tests in my bathroom right now as my excuse.  When P and J told me that they didn’t want to know about it if I tested early and it was negative, but they DID want to know about it if I tested early and it was positive, you’ve kinda got to pass off that you did not test at all to avoid assuming bad news.  And bad news was all that I had.  On top of that, I don’t feel pregnant.  From someone fairly experienced in what it feels like to be pregnant, I can tell you that none of the normal symptoms, at least, the progesterone induced normal symptoms, are present.  Since we will recall that I am injecting watermelon sized lumps of progesterone and oil into my body on a fairly regular basis, I would assume that pregnant or not, there would be symptoms.  I would ESPECIALLY assume that if I were pregnant, there’d be something.  There’s not.  I was sad.  I was frustrated with all that we went through and how that was our fresh cycle and how the frozen ones didn’t have the same odds.  I was fed up with giving myself these shots when it was just prolonging a cycle that didn’t have much hope.  I was scared about testing and showing off a negative result on Tuesday when we visited the guys’ house.  Granted, it was just the first try, but it took us a year to get to the point where we even got to take a pregnancy test.  I was so depressed, in fact, that I decided to NOT take the 3rd and final test from the pack I got on Monday morning as I just didn’t want to see another negative result.  I resolved to wait until Tuesday morning so that I’d have one last chance to check for something close to a possitive result before the dinner.

My test this morning was positive.  It was EXTREMELY faint, but it also showed up faint right away.  If you looked at it from all but 2 angles, it was, in fact, negative.  YAY, positive!!!  So I went off to work and finished off my day and went to the dinner knowing that it would be a happy day.  I had a wonderful time tonight, although I had to pee so bad all night long because you have to hold it for awhile before taking those things so I didn’t go waiting all night for the whole “And now we segway into handing you a stick that you will go pee on” part of the conversation.  As it turns out, that isn’t such a natural thing to fit into a conversation.  As it turns out, having to pee like a race horse is NOT very helpful when you are trying to hit a 2cm by 4 cm area without soaking your hand in urine.  Anyway, I brought it down and gave it to the guys without looking at it (although I had a bit of a reason to suspect I knew what it said) and… it was positive.  It was grandly, darkly, wonderfully positive too so I didn’t have to hold it in the right light to show them the right line. 

We finally made it.  (Does a year count for using the term finally?)

We finally made it to the part where you get to worry and hope that everything goes the way it should for the next 9 months and you end up with everyone being healthy and alive and wonderful in the end.  Speaking of that, I have a beta draw Monday morning and another Wednesday morning and Wednesday afternoon we’ll get the results.  Now we hope for good things. 

For the record, I did not work out at all last weekend because ‘knowing’ that it was going to be negative, I didn’t want to feel like I had done anything that might have caused it myself.  Now, however, I have to get back I think.  I know just some light workouts won’t hurt and the doctor actually said anything with my heart rate under 130.  Now, 130 is pretty low but I can make that stick.  I’m gonna have to because I KNOW I’m over 163 at this point.  I just hope that I’m not over 170.  Then again, I have yet to get that ‘initial’ weight check for this pregnancy and really, who wants to make that any lower than it has to be?  Maybe I’ll wear my parka to that appointment.  The heavy one.  With bricks sewn in the pockets.

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8 Responses

  1. Yay!!! I’m glad it worked out. Congratulations to P and J.

  2. Congratulations!

  3. I’m so happy that your test last night left no open questions!! CONGRATULATIONS! I can’t wait to hear those Beta numbers. Good luck with everything for the next 9 long and happy months!

  4. Yippee! Also hoping everything goes nice and smooth until that sweet little bundle is in P & J’s arms.

  5. Congratulations! I hope you can relax a bit now (at least emotionally).

  6. Congratulations! I was anxious to check the blog this morning, and I’m so happy to hear that things are off to the right start!

  7. Congratulations! How exciting for P & J — congrats to them, too. So, when do we get to know when you’re carrying 1 or 2?

  8. I swear I posted a comment earlier. Congratulations! Now to celebrate you’ll have to buy lots of CAbi stuff this Saturday to wear post-preggo!

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