Love potion #9

24 DPO today.  24 days of needles and PIO.  I’m better now, but Friday night I was ready to throw those needles across the room.  It isn’t that they are so terribly bad.  It is that they are relentless.  I tried to jog just a little.  A slow 4 MPH speed walk, really.  All 4 of my shot sites, which normally don’t all bother me all that much, were hurting.  I got through to my doc who said (which I already knew) that I was taking 4 doses of progesterone and why in the world was I taking so much and it was double what I should be on.  Ya, I knew that.  He also said that since I was established on that, we’d have to do progesterone checks to bring me down slowly.  I also knew that.  So he put the order in Friday night so that I could stop by the hospital over the weekend or just the clinic on Monday to have blood drawn for the progesterone check.  If it is high enough, they will cut out 1 dose, or 2ccs.  Then I will repeat the process in about a week to cut out the other dose.  It is Monday morning and I am at work and not the clinic getting blood drawn.  Why?  Because  mostly I know I will get in today, but also because I’m really scared that it will not be high enough.  I had my progesterone checked once before while pregnant with Jessie and while there were a lot of other circumstances, it was a big giant mind staggering 9.  9 is not a pregnant result.  9 is like getting a 3 in HCG.  Obviously, Jessie thrived anyway.  Pregnancy doesn’t always follow the rules.  If it is low this time, it means no cutting back on the shots. 

Complaining about the shots is rather a ‘thing’ for me.  At first, it was funny to make comments about it because it is expected and all that.  Now though, I’m not being as funny but I also don’t want people to think that I’m being obnoxious about it.  You see, when you’re an infertile going through PIO shots and talking about how horrid they are, it is different.  You are doing this because something sucky hit you and you cannot get pregnant by just having sex.  Complaining about it is right and just and good.  When you are doing this because you signed up to be a gestational carrier, it is a whole different issue.  Are you complaining about it because you want more attention?  Maybe you want to brag about what you are going through?  Maybe you are trying to make the IPs be even MORE grateful to you for what you are going through.  Truly, I don’t want to do any of those things so I figure courtesy draws the line somewhere on the whole jokes about PIO topic.  Yet – I am still human and at least for my blog – those things are wearing me down.  I hope that my progesterone tests come back extremely high and I can cut back at least the first 2 ccs.

This weekend we spent more time with our visiting in-laws and cousins.  On Sunday we went to the renfest with the two older boys and Jessie.  Those older boys have gone from playing great together to trying to kill each other.  I wish that I knew how to channel that competitiveness from the 9 year old boys into something constructive that would be good for them and keep them from the fighting, but I do not.  It makes me feel like there is something missing from our society for young boys.  Some way to integrate them into being older without having to feel like they have to beat someone out on something in order to be fine, upstanding young men.  I do have to share a little giggle with what was a big purchase for the boys.  Gavin was asking to get a potion.  He wanted a magic potion so badly that when we walked past a shop that sold little glass jars that you could fill with different scented bath salts.  I told them to get a little jar and mix up their potions.  Once we were home, I told them what each of the scents added to their potions, Orchid was love, Sandlewood was protection, mulberry was strength, etc.  They were so excited about their bath salts purchase! Of course, when they found out the blue mulberry was strength, they started fighting over who had more blue in their potion for more strength.  Gavin was particularly dismayed at the meaning of the pink orchid which was listed at the fair as “dragon”… something or another.  I’m quite certain he was hoping for a potion that would allow him to breath fire so telling him it was a love potion about made him gag.  On the plus side, now the boys cannot WAIT to take baths with their new potions. 🙂

Yesterday, Sunday, was my big sister’s birthday.  Happy 60th birthday to you big sis!  You should be proud of how young you look for your age!  You could be in your low 40s!  Giggle.  Remember, no matter how old I get, you will always be older.  And that is why I love you so much.  🙂

This weekend was also P’s birthday so a big shout out HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him!  His last childfree birthday so I told him he had to live it up.  Next year he may be too tired to really celebrate. 🙂

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6 Responses

  1. Wow holy betas! I would bet there is more than one too! Thanks for stopping by my blog, you are right he doesn’t need a wife! But to explain more than that to a five year old would be hard. Sorry to read about your loss, I lost my youngest son’s twin at 18 weeks and had many many early m/c. Having other kids doesn’t make the pain go away, but I do agree there comes a time when it feels good to remember them.

  2. Hi! Thanks for your comments on my blog! I’ve never had PIO shots so I don’t really know what it’s like, just that I know it’s very painful. Hope your progesterone is high enough to decrease you dosage. Sorry to read about your devastating loss.
    Elize

  3. I haven’t had the joy of those shots but have heard how vile they are. You complain away, add them to mad pregnancy hormones and so many things seeming overwhelming (happy and sad stuff!) that it is hard going.

    Thanks for popping onto my blog xxx Good luck with your pregnancy!

  4. Here from ICLW…
    What a great idea to encourage young boys to take a bath!

    I’ve had prog suppositories on previous cycles, but I’ll be doing PIO with IVF #2 soon. My experience with IM HCG shots has often been terrible (sometimes could barely walk for a couple of days after a shot in the thigh), so I’m not looking forward to it. Whatever it takes, right?

    Hope that you’ll be able to cut down on the shots soon! Hang in there.

  5. “Remember, no matter how old I get, you will always be older. ”

    I laughed when I read this because my baby sister said something very much like this to me just a couple of years ago. It’s nice to see that there are other twisted souls out there who like to good naturedly rib their older sibs about their age.

    Best of wishes on those progesterone levels.

    iclw

  6. Hmmm… If I’m 60, then does that make you 56? 🙂 I actually had to figure out how old I am now, though. It is getting up there now! But I’m still young at heart.

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