If this is 8 weeks, forget 40, I fear 16

My pants fit today.  That would normally be a good thing, except that THESE pants, are ones that I used to have to wear a belt with to keep them from falling off as I walked down the hall.  Now, the nice thing about them is that they fit everywhere but the waist so a belt was easy enough to use.  No belt today though.  I pulled out a red button up shirt that I normally wear with them which is rather fitted and, um, that wasn’t going to work.  It still buttoned, but it also made this bump, this incredible growing TWO baby bump, stand out.  I’ve been pulling more and more of my ‘too big’ stuff out and I do believe I’ll need to get some things that can make the journey further with me soon.

I’ve also been feeling incredible movements in my belly.  Now, before you start thinking that I’m one of THOSE people that says she can feel the 8 week old baby moving in her abdomen, let me assure you I am NOT.  Those people are confused and more than a little, um, unrealistic.  These babies??  Don’t even have bones or muscles hard enough for me to feel when they move yet, plus, they are the size of, well, a very very small thing so really?  movement?  No.  Add to that the fact that I could feel what I WOULD’VE sworn was baby movement right after giving birth to my babies and I know that when your insides are making room for baby things growing OR shrinking, you can feel it and it feels like a moving baby.  It is not.  That said, it is very reminiscent and makes me excited for when I really CAN feel them moving around.

Another symptom that has taken over, I was up THREE times last night to pee!  Three!  I also had to pee probably about 5 times so far this morning and all I’ve had is my normal cup of tea.  Nice.  Nothing better for someone who is tired enough to lay down and fall asleep on the gym floor next to the elliptical (hmm, that might cause some concern, on second thought), than to have to not only WAKE up, but GET up several times per night.  Yuck.

Speaking of being tired, part of that is due to my son.  Not the infant, the older guy.  He has transfered back to the local school this year from the ‘integration school district’ program we had been using.  He was very excited about this, but now he is having some second thoughts.  When he decided to keep me up ALL NIGHT talking about all that was on his mind I wanted so badly to tell him to just go to sleep and we’d deal with it later but I recognized the anxiety and insomnia in his worries from my own life.  I’m not sure how to explain to him that our human brains just DO this and we have to understand that it will pass.  I didn’t get it until I was 30 and had gotten a very very much wanted new job doing what I’m doing now.  It was a wonderful change for me which I was in love with on day 1.  On day 15 I was hyperventilating and sitting in my car trying to not throw up.  The change was so difficult to take and it was another few weeks/months before I really really settled into it.  The fact that I’m now still in love with my job shows that for us humans, change is tough to deal with.  He is worried about the unknown of this school – that it is too hard for him – even though 4th grade would be harder than 3rd grade no matter what school he was in.  He worries about friends which I can understand.  4th graders do not have a reputation for being inclusive and open and friendly to everyone, especially those struggling to fit in.    Speaking of change, my 4 year old is in the same boat.  After only 2 days of her preschool (which she is only attending on Fridays) she has stated that this school, this preschool that she has been begging for 1.5 years to attend, that she has been bragging to the WORLD about attending, this preschool is boring and she doesn’t ever want to go back.  Yep, change is tough on all of us but I wish A) I could spare my children from the transition stage and B) They would freak out about it during the DAY.  Or at least on a weekend night.

We had a great time this weekend at the ren fest with P and J.  It was raining, off and on, while there but that was OK.  I prefer the cooler days there and I was dressed for it anyway.  The feast was crass as ever and I hadn’t really made the connection before hand about all the sexual jokes and, well, our group.  Sexual jokes including, of course, gay/straight/whatever orientation.  I worried a little that it would bug the guys but they said it was nothing they hadn’t heard before.  Not that we are a prudish group.  Um, no.  Anyway, I’m glad they had a good time and that P managed to NOT wear something fancy to this! 

I’m done now.  I’d like to write more, but I have to use the restroom.  See, from now on my blogging will be limited to the size of my bladder.

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