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The inchworm from hell

I’ve decided there is something whacked out about those damn charts.  Seriously, how can I be fighting it tooth and nail and still gain just on the outside of what I should be AND as soon as I blink for a second (or, ya know, the weekend) I put on 2 whole pounds instantly?  How?  Because those charts are bunk, that’s how.  I have a pair of pants that were a size 16.  I had them tailored down to fit me when I was wearing 12s, but the tailor didn’t get the waist tight enough so I always had to wear them with a belt.  Well, now (and by now, I mean last Tuesday when I wore them) they still fit perfectly and I don’t even have to wear a belt.  Yes, she REALLY didn’t get the waist tight enough.. but that’s not the point.  The point is that the rest of the pants fit me fine.  I simply can NOT be gaining that much extra weight that I would think compared to how very extreme my failure to stick to the charts for twins has been.  I try to look at my face objectively to see if I LOOK like I’m getting too chunky and I don’t really see it in my face but it is hard for me to tell. 

So yes, I gained 2 pounds from Friday to today.  I know I should’ve worked out on Sat but all day on Friday I was feeling… not really crampy but, uncomfortable.  I just couldn’t find a way to sit or relax that didn’t make my back hurt or my ribs and sides hurt.  When I went to bed I had a horrible HORRIBLE dream that I woke up and went to the bathroom and was bleeding.  Not a lot, but whatever.  When I woke up for REAL and went to the bathroom, I was fine.  It was still unnerving.  Plus, it is getting uncomfortable to sleep already and I am always paranoid about sleeping on my back once I start to get an actual belly…  so there is that worry that somehow, HOW I am sleeping is bad.  SO… when I got up with the alarm on Sat morning for the gym I decided that perhaps my system was telling me I should take it easy a bit.  The was a lot of belly-growing going on Friday/Sat and I didn’t want to push it.  On Sunday, the hubby had drill and wasn’t around so that was an automatic ‘lazy around the house’ day.  Of course, that’s only if you call hauling laundry baskets and 2 year olds around the house and putting together lunch and bathing and brushing the little two and harassing the older one to do his homework ‘lazy around the house’.   My punishment for said insolence is… 2 pounds.  blah.

So, last night I had what I can only term as a true ‘pregnant dream’.  I was driving down the freeway in my car.  One of the women that works at the agency that I got matched through for the surrogacy stopped me and pointed to this giant billboard on the side of the road.  (I was on a bridge at this time.)  She said “That is you.”  I looked up and it is one of those ads with someone saying “You don’t know who could have this disease… it could be you.” and the poster child for said disease is urging everyone to be tested.  I was not pictured, but on top of it in giant letters was my name: “Robyn T says…”  She asked if that could be anyone else and I said no, that’s a pretty unique name.  She asked if I HAD that and I said NO WAY… I don’t have that.  (I don’t actually know what it was) Then she wanted to know why they were using my name and again I had no idea why.  SO… she left and I was standing there on this bridge in the freeway and a bunch of other cars had stopped and all the people had gotten out to look at this sign as well.  We all got out chairs to sit and talk and I put mine over by the edge with the water falling so I could shave my legs.  Then I noticed that all the people talking were guys and they were all talking about their wives because they were worried that they would get into trouble talking to me.  I was all, Whatever… look at these hairy legs… are you kidding?  (For the record, I shave daily, generally in the privacy of a shower although at home that doesn’t mean much for privacy, and do NOT have Sasquatch legs.) 

Anyway I woke up then because my daughter had a nightmare about an inchworm and I had to put her back to bed much relieved because I had told her inchworms don’t have any teeth.  The other night it was snapping turtles which I told her were really really slow and could never catch her.  I hope she doesn’t have nightmares about anything really scary like a bear or a wolf or Norm Coleman because I’m afraid I’ve been getting spoiled with these really sissy things that seem to torment her.  An inchworm???  Really???   Tomorrow she’s going to have a nightmare about a Q-tip for goodness sakes.


One Response

  1. Robyn – I had a strange dream last night and part of it was about you and the babies you’re carrying. In my dream they were both girls, and you were saying something about them being identical twins. Not quite sure how that works…. but whatever. And you, or actually P & J, were referring to them as Savannah and Georgia (so you were calling them that too). I’m guessing that part comes from my neice Savannah. The rest of it was very abstract, but those are the details I can explain. Anyways, I just had to share that with you.

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