Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow…

Well, ‘Love’ might be a bit extreme… but who can resist the chance to use a sappy Orphan Annie song quote?

Tomorrow is a big day!  Tomorrow we have THE ultrasound.  The level II ultrasound that shows us hopefully two healthy, happy, growing little babies.  Pending the important part of two healthy babies, we could also get a bonus of knowing if those babies are girls or boys.  It is all terribly exciting, but it is tomorrow, not today.  Today I have to sit around and wait. 

Shortly after the ultrasound, we have to head over to the clinic for our 17 week appointment.  This is at 1PM.  Due to the fact that I will need to stand on the scale and watch as the nurse plays with the archaic manual weight bar (WHY can’t they have digital?) for 10 minutes to declare how much I weigh, I will be postponing lunch to after the appointment.  By last Thursday I had gained 18 pounds, up to 19 on Sat, down to 18 on Sunday, and back to 19 today.  I made it to the gym both Sat and Sunday so I’m rather irritated, but whatever.  On Sunday my only slip was in making sugar cookies with the kids in these holiday shapes.  I ate 2 cookies with them so, I know, I was evil.  BTW – sugar cookies look extremely weird when you make them with whole wheat flour and raw evaporated cane juice crystals (which are HUGE and brown compared to processed sugar) but they still taste awesome even if they are a lot thicker and seem more like cake bites than cookies. 

I have to admit, this weight thing is really throwing me.  Yes, those first 12 weeks when I wasn’t working out I knew I’d gain more than I should.  I fully expected though, that once I was back to living the lifestyle that got me to lose weight in the first place, I’d not only have an easy time not gaining the weight, but I’d MAKE UP for the difference.  No, no, it seems reality is nothing at all like that.  Granted, I’m now eating about 1600 cals per day instead of the 1400 I ate before pregnant.  Also, I’m only working out to the tune of about 100 calories with my lower heart rate requirements instead of my 500 calories I used to do.  Totalled, that makes me at the ‘ideal’ 600 calorie increase they suggest for a twin pregnancy.  Now, 1600 calories is pretty low in general and that is, sadly, my reality of keeping to a reasonably healthy weight.  1200 is the lowest they suggest any women ever go for extreme dieting.  That is, I believe, just the scars of obesity on my metabolism and something I have to live with.  Still, I never EVER would have thought that me DOING that and being ON TASK with all this would still result in me seriously over gaining at this point.  SO… if I sound frustrated, it is because I feel powerless and more than a little angry that I am denying myself things that I’d like to have while still failing to meet my goals.

Somehow, I have to stop caring about it so much.  When I lost the weight originally, I had simply bought into that “10 minutes/day” ad and just decided to put in the effort to MOVE a little more.  I was going to put healthier activities in my lifestyle and whatever my weight and my body did with that was NOT my focus.  Just the lifestyle was.  Now, once I put in the 10 minutes, I put in a little more and a little more and I modified my eating a bit here and there as well.  Not all at once.  I enjoyed the weight results.  Still, I have to get back to living the lifestyle and not obsessing about the numbers.  The hard part is that the daily weight checks were what kept me in line with the lifestyle.  That is what kept me eating only 2 cookies on Sunday instead of, well, a LOT more.  If I disregard the weight totally, my habits could suffer as well and then I won’t be meeting the ‘healthy living’ goal.  Honestly, I just wish someone would come up with a twin pregnancy weight chart that put what I’m achieving in the ‘normal’ range and then I could settle down and not be so on edge about it all.  How totally childish is that?  For the record, my rings not only still fit but they are still quite loose and I am right this very moment wearing my pre-pregnancy pants with the too-big waist that are fitting me wonderfully.

Changing subjects I’d like to say… these babies?  They don’t move enough.  I’m 17 weeks now and while I know that I didn’t even really feel Asher moving until 20 weeks along I’m quite a bit thinner now and from what I understand, that makes a big difference.  Ideally, they would move whenever I tell them to.  Thus, if I’m out and about and just curious about them enough to stop and pay attention to my belly, I should be rewarded with a little movement from them both.  If I roll over in bed and lay quiet and still, they should both kick up a little “We’re here!” dance for me.  They do not though – and I only feel them when they are in the mood and it seems that is only every few days or so.  Bugger on that.  I cannot wait until I can feel them all the time and get that constant reassurance that they are there.  Of course, I’m hoping all this reassurance doesn’t involve sticking anything up into my ribcage because, babies, that is really quite uncomfortable.  To their credit, while I’ve been typing this, they’ve decided to do some little baby wiggles so that is nice.

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3 Responses

  1. Just for a little reassurance, my twin weight guideline book would like me to gain 20-25 lbs by 20 weeks.

    I feel so stressed out reading your weight worries. Here’s my theory, if you’re eating properly (which it sounds like you do and you know what properly means) and you’re already moving more than I dare with my twin pregnancy than the numbers are just that. I would try to spend more time obsessing over eating the right foods rather than how much food you’re eating. Perhaps you’ll be one of those lucky gals that loses a ton after a twin delivery-and if you’re not, well at least you already know what to do to take the extra weight off.
    My entire focus is putting on the weight in a healthy way, but not so worried about ‘just how much’ it is (unless it was too little-but I’m not one of those gals either).

    As for the movement, it could be the placentas are on the outside, which would make it more difficult to feel the movement. Something to check while they’re ultrasounding you anyhow.

  2. How Exciting!! I’ll have to check back later today for the good news!!

  3. Okay…waiting for the update…

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