Ménage à trois of thoughts

One:

Over the past week, these babies movements have become much more noticeable.  I’m loving that I can lean back and tell pretty quick that they are awake or asleep in there.  They totally fall asleep while I’m at the gym walking so, P and J, you may have to find a way to fit a treadmill into their room for putting them to sleep. 🙂  They are also pretty quiet at night which I find odd but certainly not a bad sign for the parents-to-be!

Two:

I’m also finding that I could probably use an investment into some more warmer maternity shirts.  Most of what I got was not intended to keep me very warm because my memory of pregnancy was that I was hot all the time.  Partly due to being thinner this time around and partly due to being much larger much earlier in the winter than I’m used to, this isn’t so much the case.  I’ve been able to pull out tops that I wore from before I lost the weight but honestly those make me look like a giant potato and not like a pregnant person.  That is when I get the comments “Some days you look really pregnant and some days you don’t.”  What they are not saying out loud is “Some days you look really pregnant and some days you look really fat.”  I do find it disgustingly amusing that the clothing that fit me before I lost that weight is now still tenting around this belly with plenty of room.  I’m tempted to go put on those jeans that I wore just to see where they are with the babies belly but I keep forgetting whenever I’m at home and have time.

Three:

Along with that, there are other comments from people that I’ve been hearing.  There are still people here and there at work that ask me if I’m pregnant.  Since I’ve had someone tell me that I look like I’m about to give birth as well, I guess being 17 (now 18) weeks along with twins is a twilight zone time when you’ve gone overnight from not really looking pregnant to being suddenly 40 weeks along.  Not that I look 40 weeks along, but everyone has a different perspective, I guess.  The last two times someone asked if I was pregnant and I started the dance routine with them where I say Yes, they smile and say wow, congrats, I say there are two, they put their hands to their mouths and squeal, I say they aren’t mine, and they put their hands down and say ‘huh?’  It’s not as funny as it used to be.  There is just no easy ‘passing someone in the hallway’ way to say you are doing surrogacy. 

When I told the one girl about it, she seemed really concerned and was trying to talk about how she couldn’t do surrogacy and I am afraid I really just didn’t want to stand in the hallway and talk about it with her.  I’m tired of the “I couldn’t give the babies away.” statement but beyond that, I actually had things to do and I’m really not concerned if she could do it or not.  The other woman that I had told was actually heart breaking because she looked so wistful and said that she wished there were people around to do that for her when she was looking to have children but – she shrugs her shoulders – I guess I just had to live without.  I honestly wanted to cry for her. 

Then there is the frequent “Are they close friends of yours?” question.  Honestly, if I had never gone through this I’d have never thought to ask that question.  I would assume that anyone doing surrogacy was close to the person they were doing it for.  The question makes me uncomfortable because somehow I think an agency matched surrogacy is less noble than just doing it for your friend so I always just say “Yes, they are close friends.”  This is true, in fact, P and J ARE close friends… by now anyway.  I know that’s not what they are asking though.  Then I get mad at myself for judging myself on something I couldn’t control anyway.  I’d have DONE surrogacy for a close friend or family member if any had needed it.  That’s how I got into it in the first place.  So I needed help finding someone that needed it.  That’s the number one question that I get asked though, for whatever reason.

That would be my three.  Sorry for the lack of sexual inuendo and all that.  I know this isn’t terribly exciting but then again, neither is my current love life so I guess it is better to write about that which you know.

Signing off now.  Happy week 18, P and J!

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2 Responses

  1. I guess you will have to work harder at a more exciting ‘love life’ :). You know the 2nd trimester is one of the best and easiest times to enjoy each other. The 3rd trimester isn’t bad, but you certainly have to be WAY more creative. Plus I’m pretty sure you’d burn some calories along the way! 🙂

  2. Everybody does seem to react differently to surrogacy. It’s more and more common now, though, so that’ll help people be more comfortable with it.

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