Alright. Here is what I have to share about my newest surrogacy:
Shortly after posting that I had to decide what I wanted to do, I figured that if I wanted the perfect IPs to walk up and wave in my face, I should at least do something to help them. It was pretty clear to me that there wasn’t any family or friends making the call. I placed a VERY small ad at SMO stating simply that I was a GSX1 (gestational carrier times 1) and looking to do another gestational surrogacy. I had been contacted by a few people that were all very very nice and it is, I tell you, heart wrenching to know that there are a lot of people out there that you could help but you have to pick ONE. Eventually though, I did make that choice and I will forever feel bad about the ones that I didn’t pick. Sorry, I just will. I hope that they find their carriers and beautiful outcomes all the same.
So, M and R answered my ad. A truely sweet couple, I was drawn by the amount of time and heartache they have gone through to have this family. I was drawn by M’s endearing, optimistic way in which she recounted her path. I was also drawn by how open and accepting she was towards surrogacy and ART in general. She said to me once, “It would be like being pregnant with my sister.” and my heart melted towards her. THAT is what I was looking for.
The problem is that they do not live in MN. I was also looking for someone that lived near us to give me that inclusion that I craved. I had to work that out with myself because in the end I decided that really, feeling included is a personality thing and not a location thing. I will very much miss the weekly get togethers and the frequent visits in person, especially at each appointment as I love watching the new family grow. In exchange for that though, I have someone who is almost as obsessive about calling and talking to me as I am about them. This is a huge plus because then I don’t have to feel like a giant pain as I intrude on their lives.
So no, no agency. Speaking of that, I do need to get a cheap MN lawyer who will agree to review the contract in my name so you surros out there, feel free to send me some names. I feel empowered though, to be doing this myself. No dumb little surrogate girl that is being told what to do and how to do it by a pandering agency. No one telling me that they aren’t going to require the IPs to have a psych screening because it isn’t right to require someone to take a test to be a parent. The IPs and I are on equal footing and are equal partners in this story and that is just what I want it to be.
Today? I got to do a sonohystogram for the first time. It was pretty much cake although now I’m nervous about uterine infection after reading about the sonohystogram on some blogs. My uterus was stamped all clear so that’s one more step completed. Also, just for the record, I’m NOT a fan of the plastic speculum. I don’t care if it isn’t as cold. Not that I’m a big fan of the metal ones either, but at least the metal ones were smoother, if you catch my meaning.
Also today? I ran another 3 miles. This time I completed it in 38 minutes. Still slow, but getting better. I figure I’ll just do the best I can until the transfer time. So, if I don’t get back to my 165 pre-pregnancy weight, I get to just not gain those pounds during the pregnancy, right?